I put eveything i wanted to write in here, whether personal secrets or just random thoughts you name it. I dont need any comments coz i dont really care if people read my stuff or not.... You dont know me anyway

bite me!!

Bulok.. yan ang one word to describe my family... I really hate staying here any longer... Ang pinaka cause ng kabulukan? cno pa ba.. edi ang mataba kong kuya.
In this family... parang maskara lng ang tinatawag na values... we have no values... Were not bonded by LOVE like other families.. Were just bonded simply by the blood we share and the responsibility to live with each other...
I bet we only have a year or so to be able to live like this.. after that.. magkakagulo gulo and primay cause of it are the money. Malapit  na maubos ang perang iniwan samin ni dada ang money just kept getting out of the bank... Since we have no other source of income.. My mom is just a house wife.. my brother is an unemployed, big fat, lazy jerk and the ultimate leech sa bahay na to. And me.. soon to have a job as a graphic artist sa techno hub...

I dont have any plans in sharing my salary with my family... WHY?? Si kuya, noong may trabaho sya.. di rin naman sya nag sh-share e... plus, kumukuha pa sya ng allowance kay dada. Wow! Anyways,... hindi naman ako nakikigaya or anything... its just that to be fair... kung nag set ba naman sya ng magandang example sakin edi sana yun din ang ginawa ko.. So quits lng.. Wala clang karapatang husgahan o pagalitan ako tama ba??

Kanya-kanya na to... I'll save money for myself and leave all those who dare drag me down. I wanna succed.. ayoko nang mabulok d2... I want to leave this house... Im really sorry for my mom... Ill try my best to help her... pero kung di nya kayang palayasin d2 ang salot at i-continue parin nyang i tolerate at alagaan... well yun... not my fault anymore.... Im leaving once I secure myself...

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"well, call you if we need you".... What the hell does is means if you heard it said by the HR?...we all know its just a nice way of saying: "get out, your not hired".. Its really painfull to hear it when you really expect yourself to be hired.
But what really pisses me off is that, why is it that 4 of my classmates are hired and im not? Whats the difference? I know we have different skill levels and im pretty sure that my skills are a bit superior than them, I really did well in class... So why not me?? where did i go wrong in the interview? Did i said anything wrong?? Im sure I answered everything perfectly, All i said is the truth and I definetly said everything he wanted to hear.... So WHY???

yeah.. now I really believe

SHIT REALLY DO HAPPEN

Mood :: aggravated

bite me!!

Napag isip isip ko, gaano karami kya ang mga taong talagang natupad nila ang kanilang pangarap? Meron kyang batang nangarap maging janitor, tindera, magbobote o kya kargador? I think wala. So saan at kelan lumihis ang buhay nila at napunta sila sa ganung uri ng pamumuhay? Malamang kung mag tatanong ka sa mga bata kung anu gusto nila pag laki, makaka rinig ka ng mga sagot na, presidente, doctor, astronaut, nurse, scientist at kung anu anu pa. Natupad kaya nila ito? Sino kya sa mga batang nangarap ang talagang nakuha ang gusto nila sa buhay?.. sa nakikita ko, parang napaka baba ng percentage.. cguro mga 1 out of 150 lang ang nagawa iyon.. the rest.. ayun, napunta sa kung saan saang career. Ako, tinupad ko naman ang gusto ko sa buhay, pinag laban ko ang gusto kong kurso pero etong naka graduate na ko... bakit parang napakalayo parin ng aking pangarap?......

 

2 bloody wounds

its been almost 4 months since resigned from my first job. Almost evbery other day, I browse the internet looking for a job but the requirements are too steep to acquire. Im a fresh graduate and I dont know how and where the hell am I going to get some experience if all the JOB ADS I look at require me to have at least 1 yr experience. Now Im starting to understand how hard it is to get a job. It doesnt matter how SKILLFULL you are, i you dont have the proper documents to show for, all is just gonna be wasted. Ive been dreaming of doing arts ever since im a little kid, but that dream right now seems a little hard to achieve... In my current position, Im really desperate of a job that ILL DO TRY ANYTHING just to have one.. its to frustrating and stressfull to stay in my house and do nothing but play on FACEBOOK ALL fuckin day!! I did try to look for jobs in Ortigas and with the constant pestering of my cousin, I did try to apply in call center jobs but to no avail.. Im too introvert and had a very hard time speaking orally specially in front of other people. I dont know what to do anymore,... I want a job...... I want to be busy, thatll keep me from being too pessimistic about life.

bite me!!

life's going nowehere right now.... I didnt know that getting a boyfriend could monopolize me this much to the point that I cant even have my own personal time without telling it to him first... I dont really hate it but still.... i miss the old free days where i can do everything i want without anyone getting in the way.

bite me!!

I dunno why on earth i stopped writting here... bka dahil i finally realized that i have to start LIVING my life and not TELL about my life. I have to stop complaining on every thing and start to work about it and solve things by myself. Keep on a positive outlook coz complaining and being miserable wont solve my problems... thats all. :D

Im currently exploring this new chapeter in my life.. a newly discovered life called love and employment. This whole new process is very new to me and i dont have any clue to where i should start and where do i go from here. Ill just go to where the wind will take me....

bite me!!

I cant believe i havent been able to post anything for this past 3 months... for those who are still curious, im still very much alive ang kicking. I dont know why im unable to post anything anymore... its like... my life is now very complete that I dont need to write it down anymore. All my frustrations are now gone. Having a boyfriend took all the time I had, it also made me see life in a very positive way. Im more optimistic and hardworking than before. Im more focused in the future than whats in my present. Graduate na ko ng 2 yr course of multimedia arts and is now working in Kingthor graphics, which have my full dedication. kahit na below minimum ang sahod, i can now say that im an independent girl. Nangungupahan kmi sa may bagobantay para hindi ako masyading mahirapan sa byahe. ayun.. ok ok naman ang buhay.... i cant wait for my first pay check....

bite me!!

why did i drown myself in liquor last night?.... maraming reason e.. kaya eto iisa-isahin ko.....

first is... im feel so terribly lonely.. wla akong kausap dun dahil lahat ng tao dun ay on PAIRS kya im left there, sitting along with people na di naman tlga ako dinadaldal.... Also, seeing too many couples triggered my loneliness and i began hating myself for that.

2nd reason is, para masulit ko ang pagpunta ko dun.... and to keep my pride na i can manage myself alone, i dont need anyones help to keep myself entertained in such social situation.... But really... i really felt so lonely that night... I really wished i was with someone..... but but...... wla e..... no one loves me :p

3rd is.. well para makisama na rin.

haay grabe... nhihilo parin ako hangang ngayun kht nakatulog n ko.... I wont forget this day... dahil na ihi ako sa pantalon ko! ahahaha

2 bloody wounds